technobang

Hey kids, it’s me Dan. Yeah, that guy who’s owned this website for almost 5 years now. That’s right, me.

I guess I finally did this because I have a few things to say. I have a few observations working in the technology field that some people find interesting anyway, I’m really not sure. What it all boils down to in the end though is, I really don’t care what you find interesting.

I hate regular blogs. I mean, I really hate regular blogs. I’m tired of seeing these LiveJournals and Xangas where people prattle on about their day to day lives as if someone out there on the internet, where I might add there is terabytes upon terabytes of porn, actually gives a shit. And hey, maybe somebody does care about the fact you painted your nails and had rough sex with a few Italian studs. Frankly, those people are stupid.

In fact, it’s not just blogs that I’m tired of. I’m tired of the internet in general. No, I take that back, I’m tired of the way people use the internet. I’m tired of people coming to me with spyware and virus problems because they were too damn stupid to click “no” to the sexy asian woman asking if “you want a good time” which, I might add, the good time that is given certainly isn’t satisfying. The sad reality of the matter is that the internet is more or less an intelligence test. You pass the test if you can last for ANY given amount of time without contracting some rediculous adware or a virus that destroys your Windows directory. The fact is, the internet is not hard to survive. Hell, I’ll even throw in a few tips!

• Use Firefox – it will stop you from clicking the popup banner ads that ask you if you want to scan for viruses on your computer which really translates to “hey I’m going to install 800 copies of myself and then take a shit on your files”
• Don’t click banner ads – Seriously. Just stop. Just because it’s flashing doesn’t mean it will make sweet monkey love to you.
• Stop downloading porn – Go to your local adult store and buy it dammit. Hell, you might even meet another man who you find is your soulmate and take him back to your studio apartment furnished with nothing but piles of old plates and clothes only to scare him off with your disturbing fetish for cheese. Hey man, just saying.
• Use an antivirus program – Ever heard of AVG Antivirus? It’ll save your life.

There’s probably more tips that I can’t think of, but frankly I think I’m done. But seriously, be smart when you’re using the internet.

And stop making blogs you fucking morons. I don’t care.

edit: Yeah I know this is a blog but since I’m too lazy to write a content management system this will work so shut up ok >:|