technobang

Stop looking for your goddamn emo music on my blog you jerks.

Oh I’m sorry, that’s insensitive. Maybe instead we can play “ring around your asshole,” where we guess which depressed lonely guy put his cock in your ass and rang in the new year with cheers and horrifying moans.

I’m not much on New Years. In fact, it’s really just another day to me. I’m doing the same crap I’d do anyway except when I wake up tomorrow I have to memorize another number to put on the end of my dates along with a pounding headache. Meanwhile, people around the world are involving themselves in a drunken orgy-like gropefest in which they all celebrate that they’ve survived yet another year of their meaningless lives.

Fantastic! Let me get my hat.

Happy New Years, now go kill yourselves. GO GO GO!