It’s incredible but it’s true. I’m just running out of things to complain about. So instead of bitching about technology here’s a small list of stuff that sucks right now.
- My roommate. He’s a big fussy whiny idiot who tries so hard to be nice but instead comes off as an emo bitch. I can’t stand it. I have the uncontrollable urge to stab him in the eye every time I see him. I’m trying so hard not to.
- My apartment bathroom. There’s a sick amount of hair in the corners on the floor. It scares me to death, it really does. Granted, I have yet to die because of this, but give it time.
- My bed. Oh wait I don’t have a fucking bed, I sleep on an air mattress. I HATE AIR MATTRESSES.
See this just isn’t working. Who really cares about my bed? Nobody, that’s who. I’m just not as frustrated as I used to be, and as a result I haven’t updated this website. In fact, the only reason this place continues to exist is because I was very annoyed and had nowhere to vent my frustrations. Now that I’m in an locale that reduces my stress to having to live with my one idiot roommate (the other 3 are okay) I’ve become unmotivated. I’m still unmotivated even as I write this post. What the hell am I going to talk about? Butterflies? The moon? These strange vitamins I’ve been taking? The fact that I have a giant balloon hovering over my bed? None of that is remotely interesting. And if it is you, my 3 readers, should tell me. I’m serious come on :(
Um.
Okay.
I really don’t make a big deal out of this. It’s basically another day except on this day I’ve managed to go another full year without congealing into a blob and evaporating off the face of the planet. These days that seems to be an accomplishment. Usually, I’m indifferent. However, after the pressurings of people around me, I’ve decided to actually publicly announce that I, Dan, am a year older.
…
That was pretty drab. So instead of ranting about my birthday, let’s look at people with more interesting birthdays.
Name: Abe Lincoln
Birthday: Feburary 12
Why his birthday is better than mine: Uh, he fucking ended slavery. He reconstituted the US. He had an awesome hat.
Name: Superman
Birthday: Apparently sometime in June 1938
Why his birthday is better than mine: Anyone who can run around in public with tights and red underwear on the outside clearly deserves the title of much better birthday than me. Plus he’s from Krypton. Krypton is awesome.
Name: Matt Groening
Birthday: Feburary 15
Why his birthday is better than mine: D’oh.
Seriously, with these men of genius, these usherers of awesomeness and cartoon fun… and American Presidency, how could my birthday possibly be even the slightest bit interesting? I don’t know. At least my birthday is cooler than William Shatner’s.
So this is how it goes.
God taps 3 plains and a mountain (he plays a pretty mean hybrid deck I must say) and casts
Thankfully, I was using my green/blue deck so I tapped two islands and cast
And that’s how Teh Crispy saved the world.
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