technobang

Um.

Okay.

I really don’t make a big deal out of this. It’s basically another day except on this day I’ve managed to go another full year without congealing into a blob and evaporating off the face of the planet. These days that seems to be an accomplishment. Usually, I’m indifferent. However, after the pressurings of people around me, I’ve decided to actually publicly announce that I, Dan, am a year older.

…

That was pretty drab. So instead of ranting about my birthday, let’s look at people with more interesting birthdays.

Name: Abe Lincoln
Birthday: Feburary 12
Why his birthday is better than mine: Uh, he fucking ended slavery. He reconstituted the US. He had an awesome hat.


Name: Superman
Birthday: Apparently sometime in June 1938
Why his birthday is better than mine: Anyone who can run around in public with tights and red underwear on the outside clearly deserves the title of much better birthday than me. Plus he’s from Krypton. Krypton is awesome.

Name: Matt Groening
Birthday: Feburary 15
Why his birthday is better than mine: D’oh.

Seriously, with these men of genius, these usherers of awesomeness and cartoon fun… and American Presidency, how could my birthday possibly be even the slightest bit interesting? I don’t know. At least my birthday is cooler than William Shatner’s.