technobang

Computer suck.

Yes, you heard me. They suck.  They stink.  I dislike them and I want to insult their mothers, but they’re soulless bastards and, of course, inanimate.  And they stink.

The trouble is, it’s not the poor computer’s fault that they’re awful, it’s the people who use them on a regular basis.  The people who sit and stare at Slashdot all day with their thumbs up their asses going “omg linux omg hard drive omg jeri ryan has big tits mmmddgdf.” SHUT UP.

I don’t like Slashdot.  They claim to be “news for nerds, stuff that matters” but in reality it’s a big collection of jerks who hate Microsoft and would probably outright suck Linus Torvald’s cock if it was laid out in front of them.  On a daily basis, they really offer very little news that matters to me, and I’d say I’m a pretty average geek.  Well, average in my interests, not my attitude.

What disgusts me is that there are a silly amount of people who honestly take Slashdot as a credible news source.  And in my worthless opinion, I say no, no they are not. Slashdot links to blogs as a primary source of credible information. ATTENTION SLASHDOT: BLOGS ARE WRITTEN BY KNOW NOTHING ASSHOLES LIKE MYSELF. I’ve repeatedly said I’m not credible in anything I say unless it’s about me personally. Why would you listen to similar websites who aren’t even honest enough to say that? I don’t get it! Slashdot, you make no sense.

Do you have any idea how pissed off I will be if this somehow makes it up to Slashdot? It’ll be a lot. Don’t ever link to this.

Most people will probably question my statement about Slashdotters hating Microsoft. Not because it isn’t true, but because I’m pretty sure I’ve stated my dislike for them in the past. To clear this up: I don’t hate Microsoft. Everyone by this time has figured out that XP is a bloated piece of garbage, but with Vista they’re seriously trying to make up for the flaws. There’s a mild amount of innovation and intelligence in Vista that actually earns Microsoft some credibility. Not much else though, because it’s even bigger and even more bloated. Whatever.

In a word or three: fuck off, Slashdot.