Dude, where’s my spam?
| October 19th, 2006Oh, right, in my e-mail inbox.
There’s something about this article that really brings in the spambots. I mean holy crap, I’m being flooded, and I’m pretty sure that my jerkoff former computer teacher has something to do with it, but I’m not making any formal accusations. Needless to say, this crap is rediculous. Every day I’m clearing the comment queue because of yet another retarded spam message telling me I could enlarge my prostate and shrink my ass. I wonder if they’re telling me my ass will make my penis larger…
But since I’m a nice guy, I’ll post some of these fabulous spam messages right here on the front page, because I’m sure someone put a lot of time and effort to try and make his or her product known on a website that is barely read.
Except the problem is I can’t, because usually they’re comprised of one or two words. Some of which include:
- Divorces: apparently every man’s dream. Except mine.
- Suicide: I swear to god I got this a while ago, there’s a suicide pill advertisement floating around the internet. I’d prescribe this to my ex if I could.
- Online Casinos, Online Universities, Online Auto Insurance Quotes: Uhh…
- Life Insurance: Because the next hot dog will likely kill me.
- Retirement: Now why would you send me one after the other? That seems counterproductive.
- Sports Betting: What the hell sports have I ever mentioned? Just shut up.
This happens over and over on a daily basis. More spam, more spam, more spam. And it’s always on that one post! It’s like there’s a vengeance factor going on here.
Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if it was my jerkoff former computer teacher, he seems to find a way to crop up in my life every once and a while, as if I feel bad for systematically ruining his career. No, not really. In fact he should probably feel bad for taking advantage of a 14 year old kid who knew more than he did in the field of computers. The worst part is, I wasn’t even holding any ill-will. I even tried apologizing to him, but he came back with some snide stalker-like comments on previous posts of mine which make him seem like a balding 50 year old creep. Oh wait…
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AHAHHAHAHAH *zing*
lol@the end, also at the suicide pills. I know someone who could use them, but he might be like “oh no I can’t use drugs. Wait, but I already do, but that’s different because I’m a hypocrite, man!”
GOD, they are a pain in the ass aren’t they. What pisses me off more is the random messages that are forwarded by sad MSN messanger users who have nothing better to do thatn screw with your mind.
Things like: Dnt clse dis tis 2 l8 if you dnt 4wrd dis 2 every1 (not the bad grammer and spelling)in ur msg box n 2,000,000 othr ppl u dnt gve a sht bout, a lil girl wll cum n rap u 2nght in ur slp.
Then there’s the virus mail. ‘A letter about life.’ (click. Computer bursts into flames. Screen says) Ha! U have no life now lolololololo!!!!1!!1111!1!!!
i hate my mailox…
Dude. I feel your pain. The 12 hits I get to my blog each day are mostly from bots. But…whatever, it’s my creative outlet. I’ve thought about just deleting my blog…it’s a waste of my dang time. Have you heard about the Russian spammer who was beaten to death? What a lovely story. Google it.