It’s that time again: useless observation and story telling update!
IRC – I made the stupid realization today that I’ve left out the primary method of contacting anyone at Rabid Duck off of the “contact” page. This of course is IRC, an archaic form of chat where roughly 9 people congregate to talk about nothing. The specifics will be listed on the contact page if anyone really cares. I doubt this will make a difference.
Burger King – I thought about writing an entire update about this, but instead I decided to include it in this batch of micro-updates. I hardly eat there anyway, but I now have a personal vendetta against them. Somehow during the course of ordering a small meal they managed to overcharge me by $99.01. So I gave them a call, carefully telling the barely-English speaking manager to, in effect, “screw himself.” I followed up with this after getting home from work by calling their corporate office to secure 10 Free Whopper sandwich coupons. Great, now that the jist of what happened was done in a polite and nice manager, I will now go ahead and write this as loudly as I can:
FUCK BURGER KING
It’s up pretty high on the list of “most awful food you can get.” “Flame broiled goodness?” Really? It’s flame broiled shit topped with mediocre toppings and put on stale bread that’s been sitting in a steamer. Don’t be a fucking dweeb, it’s garbage, and eating it will eventually turn you into a fat creep like me. Luckily I’ve moved past their artery-clogging garbage.
Statues – I have a Darth Vader statue sitting on my desk at work. It came from an MBNA credit card’s “Galactic Rewards” thing. I’m counting the days until some anonymous person steals it and tries to sell it on eBay. I’m watching you…
Winter – DAMMIT TO HELL. A year ago I came forward to admit that I hated winter. I really, really hate winter. Cold weather and snow. It puts me in a really bad mood, this winter business. What pisses me off is how mother nature this year decides to tease us with a bunch of mildly warm weather, only to bend us over and fuck us in the ass with this 17 degree high bullshit. Mother nature, why didn’t you listen to me? I realize that it is indeed past the time to jam a coathanger in there and end the life of Winter, but I don’t think it’s too late to get a belt and wrap it around it’s belligerent, spoiled neck and give it a good choke until it falls lifeless on the floor where rats and other small animals can devour it’s ugly little corpse. Or if that doesn’t satisfy you, at least throw some salt in its eyes and call it a whore. Please? For me?
Well crapadoodledoo, I think that’s all I have. Stay tuned for when I decide that nobody actually reads this crap and turn this into a children’s educational site.
Maybe I’ll do that anyway…
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I know, fuck things that are mildly irritating! Fast food is generally not very good and the people involved are incompetent! I don’t like cold weather because it makes me uncomfortable! Fuck fuck ass I’m ornery about things!
Gratz on the Vader statue though. That is fly.
IRC – I hardly get on there, maybe I should do that some time.
Burger King – I still have $0.19 left on a gift card I got last Christmas from “Santa.” I wonder what would have happened if we used it that day. They’d probably have had to get the whole staff there and from the next Burger King to figure out how to charge everything.
Statues – I get too many little ones from the dollar store as gifts that I just had to finally clear off my dresser and replace with wonderful wonderful pictures of my bestest friend ever! lol
Winter – My hands are dying. So I hate winter too. Also I hate shocking you.
Okay. I don’t really know why I wrote those things but there they are and there they’ll stay.
P.S. I read your site :( a tiny bit later but I do read it!