technobang

I’ve been trying to update this stupid thing for hours. I can’t seem to make anything work.

I wanted to ramble on about how teenagers suck these days. I’ve been frequenting this stupid teen chatroom for a while now, and I don’t even know why the fuck I would bother. It was one of those weird internet flings that happened when I was sick one day, and it blossomed into an “whenever I’m bored at work or whatever I’ll go do this” thing. It fucking sickens me. Kids are growing up to be so goddamned stupid that it’s amazing to me that every other country in the world hasn’t yet totally taken a huge, steaming shit on us. We’re a country full of really fucking stupid kids, and it shocks me still to think that these same dipshits are going to be the future leaders of our country. There are a few bright ones, mind you—albeit a shocking low number of them. And it’s for those slim few that I show up there.

I wanted to rant about the universe, but I seriously can’t wrap my fucking head around that. I was making toast this afternoon and contemplating the size and complexity of the universe. Because that’s what I do, my dumbshit brain never shuts up so I contemplate everything and anything until I finally just expire in a pool of my own sweat and drool out of complete mental exhaustion. My process of sleep is really quite horrific, if you think about it. But I suppose that comes with being an unhealthy fatass, bad sleeping habits and puddles of my own anything.

I’m really sick of this winter bullshit. Winter has migrated from a stupid baby I wanted to coathanger into this twat of a 2 year old that can’t make up her fucking mind what she wants. “MOMMY I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT COLD OR LUKEWARM OR MAYBE I WANT TO DRY UP AND MAKE THEM WASTE ALL THAT SALT OR MAYBE I’LL PISS RAIN DOWN AND MAKE THAT SALT GO EVERYWHERE JUST TO BE CUTE TEEHEE I’M CUTE RIGHT MOMMY?” Fuck you, mother nature, I really wish your stupid kids would quit jerking us the fuck around. Seriously, make up your goddamn mind. Don’t tease North America with this “almost warm” bullshit, it really pisses us off when you flip back and forth. The winter lovers, the frozen dickholes that they are, are getting pissed, and I’m really getting sick of going through liters of windshield wiper fluid every week. At least the snow’s pretty to look at, this mushy bullshit you’ve thrown at me makes me want to find you and play “hide the ravenous squirrel in your vagina” with you and your twatty daughter Winter. Thanks a lot, you’ve managed to warp my least favorite season from something I could consistently hate to something that inconsistently annoys the shit out of me.

Leopard on my old PowerMac really pisses me off. It works, but really fucking slowly. I have to disable… just about every visual effect ever to make it even worth my time. I’m pretty sure I’m going to downgrade whenever I get a spare minute.

I actually have lots of spare time, all I do is sit on my ass and glare at the wall in annoyance. I think maybe if I glare at it long enough the fucking thing will fall down and I’ll finally have an excuse to move out of this shithole. Let’s face it, however, it’ll stay standing. Instead of being able to move freely, I’ll just sit here and listen to my ugly upstairs neighbors have mediocre sex until they finish and then make an attempt at passing out in a puddle of my own bodily fluids.

Later fuckos.