technobang

Ooooh, a twist!

Last year I made some convoluted update whining about how the universe sucks and as a result, I should never have gone on vacation. To make a long story short: it sucked. It was vile, and I mean vile. It basically started off with this line:

“There, you finally did it karma. You balanced the universe back out so I’m a bitter, angry fat fucking nobody. Congrats.”

Here I am approaching a year later, and you know what I’ve found? That statement is actually accurate. I am a bitter, angry, fat fucking nobody working a dead end job and becoming fatter. By all rights I should be pissed at myself, God, the universe and shrinky dinks—yet I’m not. What the fuck, why not?

I guess I have hope.

I got stuck on this line right here. This typically happens when I write about subjects far too close to home. I freeze and try to figure out how in the hell I can explain anything without revealing too much or looking like a blogging faggot.

Anyway, I have hope. I guess being chained up for 6 months gave me a lot of time in my head, and when I finally came back out I realized I wasn’t the same person. Still a bitter fat guy, but yet… where’d my cynicism go? My belief that humanity is on its last legs, that as a society we’ve misprioritized and failed miserably? The fuck?

EDIT: The cynicism was right where you left it, fatass. It went in hibernation because you were free! I’m sure the blacks felt a similar feeling after they were let go from slavery, and look where it lead them? Wait, President of the United States… never mind… bad example. Sorry racism, I know you wanted in.

Whatever, that’s something I’ll sort out. Who knows? Maybe I’ll pull my head out of the clouds and go back to my normal bitter brooding ways.

I should also take a moment and apologize to people who have been trying to contact me since my halfassed return to the land of the free. I’m not ignoring you, I swear, I’m just on a mission.

A few odd notes over the course of my journey:

I miss cooking, and I’m actually going to attempt complex recipes now. Neat.

I have come to love the show Doctor Who—thanks a lot, England. I fucking hate you.

After reading through the old updates, which as we all know are rather erratic and almost bipolar, my favorites are the ones I wrote with my eyes shut. There was a girl in my head; call her a muse. She’s still there.

I’m going on vacation soon. Watch out for me, I might appear in your town. This warning is void in towns I’ve been before, so watch out Houston!

Okay that last sentence was a lie, I’m too poor. The thought counts though, right?

Right?

Posted on Wednesday, November 19th, 2008 at 2:07 am in Whatever | rss feed for comments| Leave a response, or trackback