Retro

You might remember this. This is how this stupid website ages ago.

Well, nearly 4 years ago (in fact, in 3 days it will be exactly 4 years old) I started this disaster with a simple goal. 4 years ago I worked for a wonderful little store in Grand Rapids called Grand Professional Computers as a sales associate/technical support guy/manager/superhero. (Note how each of those titles scales in how it scratches my ego—this is important.)

The idea being that my friend Steve and I could ramble about the current state of technology and why the shit sucks. Then it became more me yelling about the current state of technology. Then it devolved further to become “things that annoy me” which included anything between seasons and Jews. Then I started feeling feelings and talking about them. Now we’re here.

I have several times attempted to bury this and start over, but the reality is very simple: I can’t. Not only can I not, but it hit me today like a ton of bricks—I don’t want to. Some of this crap I think is pretty funny. Other people have deemed it hilarious. The readerbase has changed over the years and the shit that I write about tends to vary but all in all I can’t seem to bring myself to axe the past here.

I guess we can count this as me starting again.

I moved this over to my unused domain in order to sound, I don’t know, impressive? It really isn’t I guess, but maybe I can sucker some poor idiots into reading some of the older articles and spreading it along or something.

A few upcoming topics:
– Stalking my gay roommate as he sneaks out to have sex with someone!
– Running a business and hiding this from my customers!
– Hilarious porn!
– An uncanny ability to annoy entire crowds of people in small restaurants!
– My inability to come up with interesting things to talk about!
– More exclamation points!!!!

Look, fuckers, not everything is a winner here. Read things like this thing about Twilight or dirty things I’d do to Jared from Subway or that a season can be used as an abortion joke.

I had a fan because of the last one! Honest. I took like 4 NyQuil, so I’m going to conclude this by saying hold onto your hats kids, I’ll write more stupid shit soon.

This is the part where I quietly admit that no one cares and that fatty (THAT’S ME I CALL MYSELF FATTY SOMETIMES OKAY) should shut his face.