technobang

Now with more fiber!

It still feels like I just came out of a trip to the Twilight Zone. In reading the previous blurb about it I made it sound like I was like… complaining about it.

Not really, it just rained a lot. It actually stopped raining; that was nice.

Over the past few weeks I’ve started several different drafts. One of which was titled “T” and contained absolutely nothing but a series of spaces and the word “rattle.” Honest to fuck have no idea what I was trying to accomplish there as “trattle” isn’t a word as far as I know and I don’t believe at that particular point I was hearing anything rattling.

Another one was a draft I started forever ago about Lost. Some shit about being on an island and how occasionally I feel like I’m on an island except there’s less weird disconnected storylines confusing me and there isn’t some dude with an attitude and long hair getting in my face every five minutes with his teeth always clenched.

There were several others I started and then abruptly stopped although I could not tell you why. I think laziness has been eating at my soul.

This isn’t one of those “I’m apologizing for not posting” posts because really that’s the sign of a terrible website with terrible content. Which, yes, while this would absolutely qualify… I can’t finish this sentence, really.

I can hear my roommate thumping around downstairs. He walks like a fucking elephant which amazes me because I’m considerably fatter than he is and I’m generally silent on my feet. I actually tried reproducing the amount of noise he makes and had little success. I still hate his fucking dog. Moreso, in fact. I come home late at night sometimes and he wakes the entire goddamn house up. Just once I’d like to sneak in at 2am and not have my presence announced by some tiny rat looking bag of shit and just relax. I have often considered punting it off the expressway bridge but I think PETA or various law enforcement agencies would have issue with me launching a dog off an overpass and into oncoming traffic with the express purpose of watching it splatter into several bite-sized pieces.

Okay look, I don’t condone animal cruelty… but this thing has to die.

I kind of hit that point where I’m bitter but not angry enough to be funny. I’m forcing this pretty hard (lolinsertjokehere) and it’s not really coming out particularly good (lolmorejokes) or witty.

Is it possible I should actually start some kind of PERSONAL BLOG that could perhaps be read?

I decided today that feeling shitty was stupid so I decided to go wander about outside. After harassing some strangers and ruining some kid’s game of hide and seek by telling the boy finding where the all the other kids went I stumbled upon a fantastic Jewish deli where the owner was interesting and the patrons were just as interesting.

I’m convinced I bit into heaven. It’s made of corned beef.

I sold my funny bone for a sandwich. I’m okay with it.